Recipes, bitches

Black Ham


   24 ounces root beer, preferably Barq's
   1 1/2 tablespoons pepper jelly
   1 bay leaf
   1 1/2 tablespoons Caribbean-style steak sauce, such as Pickapeppa
   6 cloves
   1 stick cinnamon
   1/2 orange, peel and juice
   1/2 lemon, peel only
   1 (4 to 5 pounds) cured, smoked ham, preferably boneless (though if you get one with a bone you will have something to put in the beans.  Shut up, Tifa)
   3/4 cup dark brown sugar
   1/2 teaspoon dry mustard


In a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, combine the root beer, the pepper jelly, the bay leaf, the steak sauce, the cloves, the cinnamon, the orange peel and juice and the lemon peel. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat to low and cook for about 30 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and strain the mixture, discarding the solids. Return the liquid to the pan and cook, on medium-low heat, until the liquid is reduced to about 1/2 cup and is thick enough to coat a spoon, about 30 minutes. If done in advance, transfer to a sealable container and set aside.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Place the ham on a rack in a disposable aluminum foil pan. Using a knife, score the top half of the ham in a crisscross pattern. Spoon the glaze over the entire ham to completely moisten the surface.

In a small bowl, combine the brown sugar and the dry mustard. Pat the mixture all over the ham. Pour 1/2 cup of water into the pan. Bake until the ham reaches an internal temperature of 160 degrees on a meat thermometer, 3 to 4 hours. While it is baking, spoon some of the glaze over the ham, letting it dribble down the sides, at 15-minute intervals until the glaze is used up. Add more water to the pan as needed to keep it from getting dry.

Transfer the ham to a work surface. Let it rest, uncovered, for about 30 minutes before carving.

This is delicious on biscuits with butter the next day.  And if you eat your ham with mayo instead of butter, I need to seriously reevaluate my relationship with you.


Basic Sangria

Large (1.5L) bottle red wine
1c fruit juice (orange or mixed)
1c brandy
½ c sugar, or less, depending on what kind of red wine and fruit juice you use

Mix well, pour over ice leaving about an half inch to inch in each glass,  Add club soda and stir.  If you want to make it fancy, like for company, you can add fruit slices, but around here we drink it too fast to bother.


Pomodo

1lb beans, any kind, rinsed, picked, and soaked
1t oregano
1t basil
2T garlic powder
1 onion
1 sweet pepper
1 jalapeno
1 cup chopped celery
2t salt

Cover beans with about 2 inches of water, add spices and cook till soft, about 2 hours.  More for large beans like limas or butter beans.  In a separate pan, mix vegetables and fry in oil or butter until onion is just transparent, add to beans with salt and cook another 5 minutes.  Serve over stale bread.


Garlic roast

2lb boneless chuck roast
1lb bacon, kind of on the fatty side
16oz beef broth
16oz red wine (just refill the broth can)
8 garlic cloves, crushed
1T garlic powder
1t oregano
1t basil
1t thyme
2t parsley
1c each bell pepper, celery, onion, coarsely chopped
2 medium potatoes,  cut into thick slices

Make cuts in the roast, about an inch apart, halfway down and stuff with bacon.  Tie the roast back up with cooking twine.  Use up all the bacon, we aren’t going for low fat, people!

Place roast in a slow cooker.  Add the rest of the ingredients and cook on low for 8-10 hours.  Take a crusty sandwich roll, peel it in half, and cover it with the meat and vegetables, then douse it with a ladle or two of juice.  Die of joy.

BBQ Pork

2 pork tenderloins
salt and pepper
olive oil
sauce (bottle or make your own)

Cut tenderloins in half lengthwise.  Cover in salt and pepper and brown on the edges in a skillet with olive oil.  Place in crock pot with sauce, cook on low 8-10 hours.

When done, take out onto a plate, cut up into chunks, toss back into the sauce and stir, heat on high for about another half hour and serve however you want it

Barbecue sauce
1c ketchup
¼ c brown sugar
2T Apple Cider Vinegar
1T Mustard
1T Worcestershire Sauce
1T Soy Sauce
½ t Chili Powder
1 clove of garlic, minced (or 1 tsp. garlic powder)
1t Onion Powder



Rum Punch
1 cup 151 rum
1/2 cup dark rum
1/4 cup coconut rum
2 1/2 cups pineapple juice
2 1/2 cups orange juice
1/4 cupl lime juice
3 tbsp grenadine
Mix, pour over ice, get hammered.

Mulled wine
One large bottle (1.5L) of red wine (suggestions: Cabernet Sauvignon, Zinfandel, Merlot)
One peeled and sliced orange (keep peel to add zest to taste into cooking pot)
½ cup of brandy
15 cloves
½ cup honey
3 cinnamon sticks
1 tsp fresh or 2 tsp ground ginger or allspice

Put ingredients in a crock pot and cook on high for 20-25 minutes, then turn down to low to keep warm.

This only makes about 10-ish servings, so you might want to have a second crock pot going as backup if you have  a bunch of drunks in the house.

Seafood Stew
1 lb thick catfish fillets, cut into chunks
1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
¾ lb smoked sausage, cut into ½ inch pieces
1 large onion, chopped
1 green pepper, chopped
4 cups okra, chopped
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons flour
1 can chicken broth
1 teaspoon seafood seasoning
dash hot sauce

In the main stove top pan sauté onion in a little olive oil until onion is almost translucent. Add green pepper and okra and continue to sauté for 5 minutes, stirring constantly.
In a separate stove top pan melt butter and stir in flour. When mixed well and starting to thicken BUT DO NOT BURN IT,  add butter and flour (roux) to the vegetables in the other pan.
Add the other ingredients and stir gently. Simmer for about 15 minutes or until fish is done. Serve over white rice. Serves 6-8.

You CAN leave out the okra if it grosses you out, but it really is a key ingredient in coastal food.  What’s a little slime between friends?

Pesto Walnut Ricotta Bake

2 cups packed basil leaves
1 pound pasta
1 clove garlic
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup pine nuts
1/2 cup walnuts
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese, plus more topping
1/4 cup ricotta cheese
Salt


Prepare a large bowl of ice water. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Put the basil in a sieve and submerge in the boiling water, stirring, until bright green, 10 to 15 seconds. Submerge in the prepared ice water; drain on a kitchen towel and squeeze dry. Salt the boiling water and add the pasta; cook until al dente. Drain and return the pasta to the pot.

Meanwhile, using a food processor, puree the basil leaves, garlic, olive oil, pine nuts, parmesan, ricotta and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Add the pesto and walnuts to the pasta and toss well. Place in a baking dish and top with grated parmesan, bake on 325 until cheese is melted.  It tastes better than it looks, kids.

~~~~~

Ossi Morto

1 1/4 cups flour
10 oz bag blanched almonds (it's easier if you can find the sliced kind)
1/2 cup sugar
1 oz pine nuts
1 TBSP butter
A shot glass full of brandy or grappa (several more for the cook)
The grated zest of half a lemon
Cinnamon
One egg and one egg white, lightly beaten

Chop the almonds finely (do this before you get into the brandy).

Combine all the ingredients except the egg in a bowl, mixing them with a spoon until you have a firm dough. Dust your hands and work surface with flour, and roll the dough out between your palms to make a "snake" about a half inch thick. Cut it into two-inch long pieces on the diagonal. Put on greased and floured cookie sheet, brush with the beaten egg, and bake them in a 330-350 oven for about 20 minutes. Serve them cold. Because they are a dry, hard cookie, it is good to serve these with something to drink (like more brandy).

~~~~~

Tomato Egg Soup (note--eggs are a traditional symbol of death and the afterlife and are often used in funeral art.  They also look disgusting in soup)

2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for the bread
3-4 cloves thinly slivered garlic, plus one more for the bread
pinch of hot red pepper flakes
1 28-ounce can fire-roasted crushed tomatoes, such as Muir Glen
3 cups water
4 eggs
4 slices hearty bread

In a large saucepan, heat olive oil over moderate heat and add garlic and red pepper flakes, cooking until the garlic is just beginning to color and turn golden (3-5 minutes). Add tomatoes and water, season with salt and pepper; raise heat and bring to a boil, then lower heat and let simmer for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, brush bread slices with a bit of olive oil and broil until toasted and crusty. Rub each slice with reserved garlic clove and place one slice in the bottom of each soup bowl. Crack an egg into a shallow dish (such as a teacup saucer) and carefully slide into the simmering soup where bubbles are breaking the surface. Repeat with remaining eggs, spacing them out; cover, and let simmer for 3-4 minutes. Ladle soup and poached eggs into bowls over the bread.




~~~~~~
That’s all for now, folks.  If I’ve forgotten anything, let me know and I’ll post it here.